All You Need Is You
“All you require is You, and your ability to think things into being. Everything that has been invented and created throughout the history of humankind began with one thought. From that one thought a way was made, and it manifested from the invisible into the visible.” ~ The Secret
“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, JR. (1929-1968)
I got both of these quotes from a daily app on my phone called “The Secret.” Every morning I get a message from this app and this one stood out to me. For anyone who doesn’t have this app, I highly recommend getting it! I find for myself it is so easy to wake up and just start thinking about everything I have to do in the day. It’s like the moment I wake up I am on this stress schedule and feel like I am running out of time for everything, and my day hasn’t even started. So, I got in the habit of getting up and reading a daily reflection to quiet the craziness in my head.
I have always been a dreamer, and I am definitely a girl who still believes in fairy tales, despite all the darkness in the world. I think the darkness is sometimes what makes people really discover their light. I believe in magic and luck and everything in between. I have always believed in the Law of Attraction. I have always believed anyone can achieve anything they want in this world as long as they put their mind to it, and are disciplined enough to go after it. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t have doubtful thoughts cross my mind on the regular. Every day I go through all the emotions. It’s being able to recognize the fear and push past it, because no feeling is permanent and if you can sit through it, the feeling of inspiration and confidence will come back again too.
I had an amazing photoshoot with one of my girlfriends today. Afterward, she and I got to talking. She asked me what was the best part of being sober so far, or something along those lines. My answer surprised me because it wasn’t what I would have thought I would say. I told her the best part of being sober was getting back my intuition, by that I mean having that inner voice in me being stronger in sobriety. What keeps me sober is inspiration and feeling inspired. I used to look for a feeling of freedom in drugs and alcohol. Especially since I obsess about everything, I loved being able to escape the stresses of everyday life and just feel so free. That’s what I was always chasing when I was drinking and doing drugs. The only problem was it was followed by a shit-ton of shame.
I am super lucky to have found something I am so passionate about and honestly, I think that’s the main reason I have been able to stay sober. It’s like this light inside of me is lit up when I talk about my passion. I feel so inspired and there is no cap to that inspiration… and that feeling is addicting. I am addicted to visualizing the possibilities my life can become. There is no cap, as long as I am disciplined and working hard, I can achieve everything I want to. In that I find the thrill of inspiration. The best part about it? I don’t feel any shame after. Sometimes the voice of doubt speaks to me, but I also realize that’s just my ego talking.
I’m not going to lie, I was having a hard time writing this week. I think it’s important for people to know there is no cap on what they can achieve though. I am now living a totally different life then I was before, one that I had only dreamed of. All of us hold so much power, it just depends if we want to do anything with it or not.
This week I had a night where I was really missing drinking, I was missing partying and going out with my friends and creating funny memories. I miss the feeling of letting go and give “Oh fucks” to put it frankly. But I am just so much prouder of the person I am today. And that trumps my desire to drink. The struggle is real but I am determined to see where my life will take me. I have big visions for myself and I want to honor that part of me.
My Mom shared this quote with me a long time ago and its one that always hit home for me.
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.” ~ Erma Bombeck